


Series of Original Poems

by generally_happy_person



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fear, Gen, Horror, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Identity Issues, Poems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28090338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generally_happy_person/pseuds/generally_happy_person
Summary: One night I couldn't sleep so I started to write a poem. Decided to continue for until I came home from uni. Ranges a series of topics from my relationship, identity, fears and most often lack of sleep, though some are a mix of a few.





	1. Horror- Why I can't sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I have split them into themes but each will be their own chapter. Hope you enjoy.

For me darkness is not a blanket,  
It’s not comforting or a place for me to hide from the world,  
It’s cold, an empty space for something to lurk,  
Seeing me when I can’t see it, a predator stalking it’s prey.

Some nights there’s a man standing next to my head,  
Deciding if to let me scream or not with his blade resting on my neck,  
Moving his face inches from my own as I hear his whispers,  
But when I open my eyes and try to look for him he is not there,  
I turn my back and close my eyes there he is.

Other nights I’m lying on a board on the ocean,  
Dark ominous clouds and a malicious sea wanting for me to drown,  
And a shark nudging the bottom of the board,  
Sometimes I swear I hear the waves or the sharks tail thrashing,  
But when I open my eyes and try to look for the waves I’m safe in my room,  
I turn my back and close my eyes there I am.

Last night I could feel the heat from under my bed, hellfire,  
As a large spider hung opposite to me with a body bigger than my own,  
Tapping its legs against the mattress, trying to get to my side,  
But when I open my eyes and try to look for proof I find none,  
I turn my back and close my eyes and they’re still waiting.

As I go to bed tonight I feel the spider waiting for me again,  
The hellfire ready to greet me and spiders eat me,  
I toss and turn in the darkness trying to get off the spiders legs,  
But I know that soon they’ll get me, whichever one succeeds,  
Sliced, drowned, eaten. Maybe all three.

The spiders haven’t killed me,  
Yet they are very close,  
Maybe any second,  
Final thoughts,  
Holding breath,  
Silence.


	2. Horror- Control

I step forward, full of fear,  
Fearing the monster I know is near.  
I can feel it breathing on my neck,  
My nerves feeling like a nervous wreak.  
It’s pale, clawed hand is on my chest,  
Pushing hard as if trying to test,  
Test how hard they could push me  
Before I break in two, unable to be free.  
Their other hand is on my head,  
With its nails injecting dread  
I try to stay calm and relax,  
But he stops me in my tracks,  
All I can do is wait,  
Wait and meet my fate.


	3. Horror- There's something in the sink

I hear a clicking from the sink  
Click, click, click  
Not the sound of water  
Nor the rattling of pipes  
No, something is in the drain.  
I look down into the blackness,  
But see nothing  
Only the feeling of something seeing me.  
I step back to take a breath,  
My heels clacking on the tiles  
As I look into the mirror at myself  
Reminding myself to breathe  
One two, one two, one two.  
I look down at the floor for a second,  
But the second I do I hear a rustling  
And see a dash of movement.  
I pear over the drain in fear,  
And realize the clicking has moved.  
It’s now behind me.  
I have not the courage to turn round,  
And just stand there, petrified.  
But then the clicking stops,  
It must’ve all been in my head!  
Silly little me, making myself worry!  
I continue by washing my hands,  
Then turn to leave, looking in the mirror  
I notice something rather peculiar.  
There’s something on my back...


	4. Horror- A Bloody Good Night

My night was going ok,  
The dance floor was bright,  
Giving me time to play,  
Away from bytes and ™️ lite,  
A break from my dull day,  
No not a screen in sight,  
To sway in the fray,  
With the crowd hugging tight,  
And not feel like prey,  
Feeling like a bird in flight.

Then in walks a girl,  
And I can’t help but stare,  
Her hair up but one loose curl,  
Makes me loose all my air,  
With skin paler than pearl,  
She could take me anywhere,  
Makes my heart take a twirl,  
My brain want to dare,  
And makes my body unfurl,  
She looks at me and I say a prayer.

Everything fades to grey,  
Then I open my eyes to white,  
I almost feel the need to hurl,  
On my neck are two holes, a pair.


	5. I Wish- I Wish I were a Merman

I wish I was a merman  
I wish I was a merman,  
And be part of a merfolk clan,  
To swim to the depths of the sea,  
Sit in a sunken ship and just be.

I’d dive with the waves,  
And explore hidden caves,  
Find buried treasure beneath the sand,  
And watch the people stuck on land.

Play with dolphins and swim with sharks,  
Follow fish round dark stone arcs,  
Loop round brilliant ribbons of green kelp,  
To those near the shores in need of help.

While sitting on a rock I’d look out and see,  
See a strong sailor who was meant for me,  
We would meet halfway, full of glee,  
Then swim away and both be free.


	6. I Wish- My Castle

With tall towers tickling the sky,  
Stained glass windows and flags flying high,  
Marble and glass glistening in the sun,  
Children playing and having fun.

Towering over a sea of emerald trees,  
A tall tower to which only I have the keys,  
Velvets and silks draping the wall,  
And a glass roof and window from which to call.

Long corridors filled with family and friends,  
Wherever you go there’s something, like it never ends,  
And if you get bored you go outside to see something new,  
Until you feel happy and back to you being you.

But I’m not in a fairytale,  
It’s like I’m stuck in jail,  
No family to see or hug, just miss,  
But I’ll close my eyes and be back in my bliss.


	7. I Wish- Daydreams of Court

I wish I could be a lady in court,  
With tall pale hair,  
And a paler face,  
With a large pink dress,  
The colour of a rose.

I’d sit by a window,  
Looking out dramatically,  
And go to fancy balls,  
Dance till my feet hurt,  
Then flirt with a fan.

I’d have suitors lined up,  
All trying to woo me,  
They wear more makeup than me!  
With suits and flashy capes,  
And I’d find true love.

But I’m not at court.  
My hair is a mess,  
I don’t get invited to parties,  
And my love is 50 miles away.  
But in my head I’m back, dancing at court.


	8. I Wish- An Endless Bath

The bath was perfect,  
Bubbling gold tickling my body,  
Letting me sink deeper into the depths,  
Waiting till I’d fall through,  
Down into a wide open ocean,  
Swimming amongst strands of kelp,  
Kicking till I get to the sea floor,  
Littered with pebbles and treasure,  
Half buried in the pale sand,  
As merfolk dance toward me,  
Greeting me to their world of endless sea,  
And I’d swim off with them,  
To be free.


	9. Identity- Beautiful or Handsome?

I want to be beautiful,  
Like a ingenue in a musical,  
Or a 40s housewife, kind and dutiful,  
And just overall not like my usual.

I also want to be handsome,  
A dashing pirate with someone for ransom,  
Or master of an elaborate mansion,  
But instead I’m just someone random.

It’s not that I hate being me,  
I just wish I could look in the mirror to see,  
Not my appearance but my personality,  
But instead I’ll just let myself be.


	10. Identity- Ragdoll

I wish I was a rag doll.  
I could fall down and not hurt,  
I could tear off parts I don’t want,  
And add what I do want.

I’d stare in a tiny mirror and ponder,  
Do I need to take more stuffing out?  
Snipping open my seams,  
Ripping out fluff, is that enough?

But I’d probably keep ripping,  
Throwing out fluff till I collapse,  
Until I was a pile of fabric,  
Would I like myself then?


	11. Identity- Silent

A few days ago I was questioning,  
Beautiful or handsome?  
Earlier it was neither,  
But tonight I want to be something.  
I don’t want to say it,  
Because if I say it it’s real,  
And though I might be happier,  
I don’t want to loose myself along the way,  
So here I am.  
Mouth shut.  
Silent.


	12. Relationship- I Miss Him

I miss him.  
The world feels dim and grim without him.  
I want to be able to swim in his eyes,  
Him sitting on my thighs, no pretenses, no lies.  
Is he my prize for getting through this?  
I want his kiss and those moments of bliss,  
But all I can do is reminisce of the past.  
If asked about the past I’d say it went fast,  
My love feels vast and deep for you,  
But without being two I feel blue,  
Because you changed me more than I knew.


	13. Relationship- Morning

My metal body is cold but you make it warm,  
I shuffle closer to you for your heat,  
In until your back is touching my front,  
And place my arm carefully over your chest,  
As softly as I can so I don’t wake you.  
You gently recline into my body,  
Your hair tickling my face,  
I hold back a laugh and give a contented sigh  
And I focus on your breathing,  
So peaceful and calm though my heart is racing,  
I can hear it ticking so loud I am scared it’ll wake you.  
And it does.  
You leave.  
And I feel hollow again.


	14. Relationship- Together

Sunlight runs in rows through the blinds,  
Bedsheets fall of the bed like a waterfall,  
Shadows make skylines on the wardrobe,  
Noises of the city sound like faint music,  
And two bodies lay together as one.


	15. Relationship- Want Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING- A lil bit more sexual than the rest!

I need you to want me,  
Want me to be close to you,  
Your heart beating loud,  
Louder than the things I whisper,  
Whispering wants into your head,  
Head being pushed down,  
Downwards as I hold your hands,  
Hands pinning you to the bed,  
Bedding crumpled below us,  
Us two entwined as one,  
One thought of you and I,  
I still need you to want me.


	16. Sleep- Trying to Sleep Again

This night I was very dumb,  
I watched something scary,  
I hoped I wouldn’t succumb,  
But none of my thoughts are merry.

I checked in the wardrobe,  
And underneath the bed,  
Even in my dressing robe,  
But I am still full of dread.

I wish I had someone to hug,  
Someone to hold me tight,  
Luckily my covers are snug,  
But I’ll keep the light on tonight.


	17. Sleep- Heavy

My body feels heavy,  
Pushing against the mattress,  
Locked in my the sheets,  
My air not enough for my lungs,  
Eyes not yet ready to close,  
But not strong enough to stay open,  
Fingers fumble over small tasks,  
Joints ache as I lie there, still,  
My brain feels like sandpaper,  
Waterlogged and overheated,  
I close my eyes and try to sleep. 

I’m trying to Sleep again  
Oh sleep,  
I need you,  
I try so hard,  
But you don’t let me in,  
I just lie there,  
Awake.


	18. Misc- Ok and Not

When I’m ok everything is nice,  
People can be beautiful,  
Shadows can be comforting,  
Jumpers feel soft.  
But there are times when things aren’t,  
Light burns my eyes,  
Foods taste of nothingness,  
Everything aches.  
So whenever I close my eyes to sleep,  
That I wake up and am ok.


	19. Misc- Ghosts

I like to think ghosts exist,  
Watching over us as we live,  
Helping us with troubles we persist,  
Backing us up just before we would give,  
We cry over what we think they’ve missed,  
Taking the time they need to forgive.


	20. Misc- The End

The sun sets,  
Animals go to bed,  
Flowers close up,  
I close my eyes,  
This sentence ends.

But there’s always another sentence,  
I open my eyes once more,  
The flowers unfold,  
All animals wake up,  
And the sun rises again.

Perhaps I’ll put on my poet hat again.


End file.
